In this guide
What men commonly describe
Fertility Network UK hears the same things from men again and again: feeling sidelined because the treatment is happening to someone else, feeling powerless to help, and feeling pressure to be the strong one. Sex and intimacy can suffer under schedules and performance pressure.
In a 2015 survey by Fertility Network UK and Nuffield Health, 60% of men who had been through fertility problems said it had harmed their relationship, and 40% said it had affected their mental health.
When the problem is male factor
Being told the problem is on your side can be hard to hear, and many men find it isolating. It can feel difficult to bring up with friends, family or colleagues. A low sperm count is a medical condition, as common as many on the female side, and it is treatable more often than people expect.
Say it to your partner, too. Couples who talk about how each of them is feeling, not only about the next appointment, usually find the process easier to share.
Counselling
Every clinic licensed by the HFEA must offer you the chance to talk to a counsellor before treatment starts. That offer is for you as well as your partner, and you can go on your own or together. Ask what is available after a cycle, too.
Support made for men
Some men find a men-only space easier, at least to begin with.
- HIMfertility (Fertility Network UK): a men-only online support group that meets monthly, open to men facing male factor, female factor, both or unexplained infertility. The charity also runs male fertility webinars. Check its site for the next date.
- ANDYSMANCLUB: free peer support groups for men over 18, every Monday at 7pm except bank holidays. No booking; you can just turn up. It is not fertility-specific and not crisis support.
- CALM: a free, confidential helpline for anyone struggling, on 0800 58 58 58, 5pm to midnight every day, with webchat on its site.
- Samaritans: 116 123, free, any time of day or night.
Solo dads and two dads
If you are becoming a dad on your own or with a male partner, your route runs through surrogacy and donor eggs, and it has its own guide.
Sources
- Fertility Network UK, Men matter too (opens in a new tab)
- Fertility Network UK, HIMfertility (opens in a new tab)
- HFEA, Getting emotional support (opens in a new tab)
- CALM, Helpline (opens in a new tab)
- ANDYSMANCLUB, Find a support group (opens in a new tab)
Last reviewed 8 October 2026. General information, not medical or financial advice. Your clinic and a regulated adviser can advise on your situation.