Making sure you're supported

A home test before the clinic's date is unreliable in both directions. The hCG trigger injection given before egg collection can stay in the blood for 8 to 10 days and produce a positive result when there is no pregnancy (Guy's and St Thomas'). A negative result before the test date does not settle anything either; wait for the clinic's test.

There is no evidence that bed rest after transfer improves the chance of pregnancy or of a live birth. A 2019 systematic review of the trials found no difference between resting and returning to normal activity (Cozzolino and colleagues, Archives of Gynecology and Obstetrics).

• Plan something for each day, especially in the second week.
• Tell one or two people you are in the wait so there is someone to message.
• Keep test day free of work if you can. Write down in advance what you will do that day for either result, and who you will call.
• If you have a partner, expect to react at different times and in different ways. Agree beforehand who takes the clinic's call and who you will tell first.
• Call the clinic now, or its out-of-hours number, if you have severe stomach pain or swelling, nausea or vomiting, shortness of breath, faintness, or are passing much less urine. These are symptoms of ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS), which usually starts in the week after egg collection (HFEA). If you cannot reach the clinic, call 111. Call 999 for difficulty breathing or chest pain.

• HFEA: risks of fertility treatment
• OHSS on How IVF works

Ask the clinic for a review appointment with your consultant. It should cover what happened at each stage (response to stimulation, eggs collected, fertilisation, embryo quality, the transfer) and what, if anything, would change next time. Take notes or bring someone with you.

• If the clinic offers extra tests or add-ons for the next cycle, check the HFEA rating first. Endometrial receptivity testing is rated red (it may reduce the chance of success). PGT-A is rated red for increasing the chance of having a baby for most patients and green for reducing the chance of miscarriage; both are grey (not enough evidence) for older women.
• A second opinion from another licensed clinic is a normal step. Ask your clinic for a copy of your cycle notes to take with you.
• Protection from pregnancy discrimination starts at embryo transfer, once your employer knows, and continues for two weeks after you are told a transfer has failed (Acas).

• HFEA: treatment add-ons
• How to read success rates
• What IVF really costs
• Compare clinics
• Your rights at work

If you become pregnant after IVF or after a loss, tell the midwife at your booking appointment so it is in your notes.

Formerly the Miscarriage Association. Support after miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy or molar pregnancy. Helpline 0303 003 6464: Monday, Tuesday and Thursday 9am to 4pm; Wednesday and Friday 9am to 8pm. Live chat in the same hours.

• Call 0303 003 6464
• Miscarriage UK website

Free specialist counselling after pregnancy or baby loss, by self-referral or through partner hospitals. Its Pregnancy After Loss programme is six 90-minute monthly online group sessions, led by two Petals counsellors, for people pregnant again after a loss.

• Petals website

A line staffed by midwives for pregnancy planning, pregnancy loss and pregnancy after loss: 0800 014 7800, Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm, or midwife@tommys.org.

• Call 0800 014 7800
• Tommy's midwives

With donor eggs, the donor's age matters more than the recipient's. UK birth rates with donor eggs are above 30% per embryo transferred at every recipient age (HFEA, 2019 data: 34% under 35, 31% at 45 to 50). Every licensed clinic must offer counselling before you start (HFEA); ask for it before deciding.

• IUI, IVF or donor eggs

Agencies expect a gap after treatment ends. Adopt Birmingham asks for at least six months between the last cycle and the start of the adoption process, rising to 12 months depending on circumstances. PACT asks for at least six months since the last cycle finished.

• PACT adoption FAQs

Whether or not it felt like a choice: Gateway Women, founded by Jody Day, runs an online community, webinars and Reignite Weekend workshops for women who are childless through infertility or circumstance.

• Gateway Women

The British Infertility Counselling Association (BICA) lists fertility counsellors who work in person or by video call. Details and the questions to ask are under Counselling below.

• Counselling

Agree a limit before you are exhausted: a number of cycles, an amount of money, or a date. Write it down and revisit it after each cycle, not in the days after a result.

A joint session with a fertility counsellor from the BICA directory, or with Relate (listed by the HFEA; counselling for couples and individuals, online and in person), puts a third person in the room.

You decide who knows and when. You do not need to feel certain to tell people your plans. If someone asks about results: "I'd rather not talk about results; I'll tell you when I'm ready." For gatherings and pregnancy announcements, one line you can repeat: "Nothing to report. How are you?"

If you are doing this on your own and someone raises the child's wellbeing: a Centre for Family Research (University of Cambridge) study of 51 solo-mother families and 52 two-parent families, all with a child aged 4 to 9 conceived by donor insemination, found no difference in the children's adjustment and lower mother-child conflict in the solo-mother families (Golombok and colleagues, Journal of Family Psychology, 2016).

If the objection is religious, the scripts on the faith page cover family, community and religious leaders.

• Faith: difficult conversations
• Relate

• Acas says pregnancy-related absence should be recorded separately from other sickness and not count towards absence triggers. Ask for treatment absence to be recorded separately too.
• Statutory sick pay is paid from the first day of absence (since 6 April 2026). It is £123.25 a week or 80% of your average weekly earnings, whichever is lower, for up to 28 weeks (Acas).
• Sickness caused by treatment is treated like any other sickness (Acas). For an absence of more than seven days, a GP, nurse or other healthcare professional can issue a fit note (NHS).
• Flexible working can be requested from day one (since 6 April 2024), twice a year, with a decision within two months.
• Your employer may offer counselling through an employee assistance programme (Acas). Ask HR or check the intranet for how to reach it.
• Acas helpline: 0300 123 1100, Monday to Friday, 8am to 6pm. The advice is free.

• Your rights at work
• Acas: IVF treatment

• The Fertility Foundation grant contributes up to £3,000 towards treatment. It is open to heterosexual couples, single women and same-sex female and male couples who are British citizens living in the UK, with an upper age limit of 42 for the female applicant. Grants and every other funding route are on the funding page.
• If repayments become a problem, talk to the lender before you miss a payment.
• MoneyHelper, backed by the government, gives free, impartial money and debt guidance: 0800 011 3797, Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm, and a debt advice locator for free advisers near you.

• Funding routes and grants
• MoneyHelper: dealing with debt

This is general information, not financial advice.

Every clinic licensed by the HFEA must offer you the chance to talk to a counsellor before you start treatment. Some clinics offer this free; others charge. Ask what is available after a failed cycle too.

• HFEA: getting emotional support

The British Infertility Counselling Association lists fertility counsellors and shows each one's accreditation level. Most work privately; each profile states the cost, and many offer video sessions.

• Find a counsellor

In England you can refer yourself for free, without seeing your GP. In Wales you can refer yourself or ask your GP. In Scotland and Northern Ireland, ask your GP.

• Find NHS Talking Therapies in England

• Be wary of anyone in a group offering sperm outside a licensed clinic. The HFEA warns that unregulated donors have not had the health checks clinics require, that the ten-family limit applies only in licensed clinics, and that the donor may later regard themselves as your child's legal parent.
• Assume anything you post in a group, including a private one, can be seen by others and copied.

Membership charity for families using donor eggs, sperm or embryos: heterosexual couples, same-sex couples, and single women and men. Runs Getting Started events for people considering donor conception, Telling and Talking workshops for parents of children aged 0 to 7, and local and online groups.

• Donor Conception Network website

Mumsnet's talk board for parents raising a child alone. Posts every day and a searchable archive.

• Mumsnet Lone parents board

Charity for single-parent families in England and Wales: online information and advice, and more than 50 volunteer-led local groups.

• Gingerbread website

Lone Parent Helpline 0808 801 0323, Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 4pm, and webchat in the same hours. Advice on benefits, money when having a baby, childcare and work in Scotland.

• Call 0808 801 0323
• One Parent Families Scotland

Jewish fertility charity. Free, confidential helpline 020 8201 5774, answered by therapists; medical information and counselling for couples and individuals.

• Call 020 8201 5774
• Chana website

• CairnFertility community
• HFEA: unregulated sperm donation FAQs